“Why does it feel like I never see you anymore?” Heidi asked giving Jolene a long hug, if for no other reason than to spare herself giving the other woman a long once over. Something was wrong, it was there in the way she held her shoulders in the way that her eyes flickered away whenever Heidi tried to catch them. She couldn’t have screamed wrong more short of investing in a large neon sign.
“Because we spent the better part of eight months as roommates where you saw me everyday and now we only see each other a couple of times a week. You being less than mobile these days.” Jolene waved at Heidi’s midsection.
“I’m pregnant, not dying.” Heidi retorted. “And no one gets all upset about Raquel running all over Shadowcrest and what not.”
“Except Kennedy.” Jolene said and Heidi stifled a snort.
“But Blake doesn’t.” Heidi mused, thinking of how if Dolph had his way, Heidi’d forget how to walk before she had this baby.
“We don’t know that.” Jolene pointed out. Heidi looked at Jolene quizzically. “Aren’t you the one who is always telling me what you see is not always what you get. We see Blake and Raquel’s public faces and have no idea what’s behind their façade.”
“True, but it still looks like not only would Blake lay his shirt down so she could walk over a mud puddle, he’d do it with him still in it. Dolph’s idea is to either get rid of mud puddles or have me carried over them. Or preferably never leave the house when there is such a thing as mud about.” Something passed over Jolene’s face at that.
“Yeah, it’s tough having a guy adore you.” She shook her head.
“Well, come in, we don’t need to spend all day out in the front yard.” Heidi shooed her friend into the nook of her kitchen. “Can I get you anything? Tea, milk, water? Ever since Kennedy recommended that I not drink alcohol he’s hidden away every bit of it, so you’d have to go brave him for anything stronger.”
“No, I’m fine. So your lord husband is giving you grief about walking, still?”
“Yes. And I don’t know why, I mean Raquel’s what two, close to three months ahead of me and you see her all over Shadowcrest.” Heidi shook her head.
“Maybe it’s cause you married a Lord and she married a carpenter.” Jolene offered, with a bitter sigh that caused Heidi to look at her sharply. “Plus, Raquel hardly even looks pregnant.”
“I don’t know that I’d say that.” Heidi murmured in response.
“She looks like a skinny teenager with a basketball stuffed up her dress. You look pregnant.” Before Heidi could think of how to respond to that, Jolene looked around the kitchen and sighed. “I don’t know how you did it. This place is the color of an ice cave and it still seems warm and inviting.” Jolene shook her head. “If I used this color scheme in my house, it’d be like sitting inside an icecube. If, of course, I had a house instead of living with Dr. I never met a riotously bright color I didn’t like Misra.”
“Jo, what’s wrong? Did you have a fight with somebody?” Heidi asked, her concern jumping toward alarmed.
“No. Why do you think something’s wrong, aren’t I always this bitter and unhappy?” Jolene asked.
“No.” Heidi said before letting the silence talk for her. Jolene stood up and walked toward the kitchen doorway, keeping her face turned away. “Jo, c’mon, you can talk to me.”
“You wouldn’t understand.” Jolene said barely above a whisper.
“I can’t even try if you won’t tell me.” She pointed out.
“How could you understand, look around this place!” Jolene walked off to the library and threw herself down on the bench with enough force to make Heidi glad it was a very sturdy bench and her body twinge in sympathy.
“I guess you’re right cause I don’t understand.” Heidi waddled after Jolene when it was apparent the other woman had moved permanently.
“You with a huge beautiful house, you with your Lord husband, you with your baby on the way.” Jolene murmured bitterly. “And what have I got?”
“A good man who loves you, who half literally worships the ground you walk on?”
“A kid, Heidi. A little teenage Romeo who could–couldn’t even do the one thing I wanted him to do right.” Jolene stared at her hands.
“What was that?” Heidi asked, touching one of Jolene’s soft brown curls.
“Fall for someone else… Why did he have to latch onto me and ruin me for everyone else? Why couldn’t he have fallen for Raquel, or Zahrah, or even that little gold digging twit Fiona? Why did he have to fall for me? None of the other guys will even look at me because he wants me. I don’t even get a choice. Either I stay alone or take him.” Jolene said.
“So you really think you’d feel better if there had been some other girl?” Heidi asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Jolene, maybe Sawyer’s not a noble. Maybe he does odd jobs and can’t buy you the biggest nicest house on the block. But he’s a good man with a good heart and he’s given it to you.” Heidi said, her eyes locking on Jolene’s.
“I told you you wouldn’t understand.” Jolene turned away. “He’s a kid.”
“No, Jo, he isn’t. The only way Sawyer is still a kid is in your head.” Heidi took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly so she wouldn’t snap at the other woman. “He’s been on his own for six years, Joey. About as long as you have. Except you had your parents to go home to those first couple of years.”
“Don’t bring my parents into this.” Jolene warned.
“Okay, cause they’re not the point. The point is Sawyer’s only a child because you can attach a number to him. ‘Seventeen’. Which yes, might mean a helluva lot back home, but it means exactly squat here.” Heidi said.
“And then that child rapist came along.” Jolene stared at the fireplace with a heat that practically could have lit the log on it.
“Which child rapist?”
“Victoria.” The venom in Jolene’s voice probably would have eaten through solid steel.
“Okay, apparently I missed something else.” Heidi said puzzled.
“What else do you call a woman–a grown woman–older than us–who marries a kid? Do you really think, given how often they’d sit under the tree outside and make-out that they’re really not fucking, Heidi? Don’t tell me you’re that naïve.” Jolene snarled.
“Oh, Joey. Camden is not a kid. He’s–what–a month now shy of being eighteen? And if you’d ever spent five minutes in his company you’d know he wasn’t a kid. Not in any way except maybe still broadening out in the shoulders. He’s probably more mature and grown up than I am.” And the way things are going in this conversation a helluva lot more grown up than you are. Heidi thought.
“Then why didn’t she just wait the month?” Jolene snarled.
“Maybe because it wasn’t as big a deal to them as it is to you. And I have to say I don’t think it’s any of our business when two consenting adults want to get married. And in Shadowcrest, Camden is an adult, maybe he wouldn’t have been back home, but we’re not back there. We’re here.” Heidi shook her head.
“They made it my business last night.”
“Oh, really? what did you get a call from Camden cause Victoria was abusing him, wouldn’t let him eat his dessert until he finished all his vegetables?” She couldn’t keep the snark out of her voice. Something had to break, otherwise they were going to have a fight and Heidi didn’t want to push her friend away. Maybe Jolene was being a bitch, but no one else was going to figure out what was going on with her.
“No. Sawyer proposed.” Jolene wailed hopelessly. Heidi blinked. Twice.
“And this is…” Heidi trailed off unable to even finish. “What did you say?”
“I didn’t.” Jolene said. “I just–I wanted to say no. But I couldn’t. It’s like the words stuck in my throat. I–I tried. But somehow, I just couldn’t say it.”
“Maybe because you knew it wasn’t the right thing to say?” Heidi offered.
“What else could I say?”
“Yes?” If Heidi had grown a second head, the look Jolene gave her then wouldn’t have been any odder.
“Yes?” Jolene gasped.
“Yeah. He loves you, even though you’ve done everything to dissuade him that you could, short of throwing him into bed with every other woman currently in Shadowcrest. And you wouldn’t be near this pissed off and confused if you didn’t love him too.”
“But Heidi, what–how…”
“You’ll figure it out, you know, together.” Heidi shrugged and laid a hand on her tummy. “It isn’t like they hand you a manual on your eighteenth birthday that makes everything about love and marriage make sense.” She sure as hell hadn’t gotten one–and obviously neither had Jolene.
“But…” Jolene broke off with a sigh. “I really should go. I have–I’m sorry.” Heidi nodded and got to her feet. “Bye, little Heidi’s spawn, you’ll be glad some day your mom’s a wise lady.”
“And bye Spawn’s mom they’ll be lucky to have later.” Jolene said in a whisper after she hugged Heidi.
Heidi scrubbed her hand over her face, near as exhausted as the time she’d gotten caught in a shoot-out. A creak from her right caught her attention, the door to Dolph’s office swinging open.
“Heidi, love, what’s wrong?” Dolph asked his genial expression turning to one of alarm.
“I love you.” Heidi said, putting a hand on the side of his face as he sat next to her pulling her into his shoulder with a rightness that Heidi hoped more than anything Jolene felt–or would let herself feel about Sawyer.
“I love you too, but what’s wrong–do you need Kennedy?”
“No. I’m just really lucky I have you.” Heidi said leaning her weight into Dolph’s comforting warmth. “As for what’s wrong–apparently not enough.” She shook her head. Dolph shrugged and shook his before pulling her just a little closer. “I think it’ll sort itself out though. At any rate, it’s nothing we can fix, you and me.”
“Don’t you think I can fix everything?” Dolph murmured into her hair.
Heidi sighed. “I dunno. Can you fix it when the prince doesn’t turn into a frog?”
Aww, Heidi is absolutely adorable pregnant! Her dress is beautiful, too.
Er, *coughs* Right, there is a post here, not just a maternity fashion advertisement. So Sawyer proposed — and Jolene didn’t answer? I hope she’s marching over there to tell Sawyer yes!! Heidi is absolutely right. The only reason why Sawyer isn’t an adult in Jolene’s head is because of a number. Sawyer’s (mostly) an adult in every way but that. Camden is 100% an adult, except for the part where he looks like a beanpole, but time will fix that.
Besides, there’s room for difference on the age of consent. I might have mentioned this before, and I apologize if I have, but the age of consent in the UK is 16. I think it’s 16 in some US states, too. It’s not just the Crestians who think sixteen is old enough to do it.
And Sawyer definitely wants to do it with Jolene. No question of that.
Here’s hoping for wedding bells for Sawyer and Jolene soon!!
I really hope that it doesn’t seem like I’m beating a dead horse with this. It is pretty fundamental to Jolene’s character, she is not fluid, she does not change her mind easily, she doesn’t “go with the flow” she makes the flow go around her and has enough stubborn for at least a herd of donkeys.
And she can be told fifty times by every single solitary person in Shadowcrest that there is no age of consent and that even if she marched right over to Sawyer’s and tumbled into bed with him (which I can say she didn’t, I think, without spoilers.) she would be breaking no laws. In her head, there is no reason a 26 year old woman should be with a 17 year old guy. It doesn’t compute with her and so everyone else is “wrong” and to be ignored.
Her issues with Victoria are more bitterness that it doesn’t bother Victoria that there’s ten years between her and Camden than the fact that she’s with Camden. She is somewhat jealous, but not for the reasons that Sawyer thinks. And Jolene is incapable of seeing the hurdle as being only there in her own head.
You have with the whole 16 in the UK thing, but that’s okay, cause it’s still true. But that I think is insignificant in Jolene’s head as well, from her perspective, sure you can legally abuse the headboard of a bed with a sixteen/seventeen year old boy in some places, but why would you? Most women her age who have had relations with a teenager that she knows about are the teachers/coaches/etc. you see on the tv news.
Which is a different bowl of something all together. But she’s not seeing the difference, which again is a perspective thing. As for whether she marched over there and told Sawyer anything, we’ll see. But no, probably not, she still hasn’t seen that she’s wrong here. (And being told it might be making her more stubborn.)
Heidi does look cute doesn’t she? Even if it is sort of a pain to get onto people (Have to buy it and set it as maternity, rather than just getting picked up by the pregnancy everyday hack) I so totally think I’m going to abuse this dress mesh/dress style for all my pregger ladies.
Thanks, Morgaine!
It’s 16 in Canada too (was 14 until 2008, actually). There are also some close age exceptions, like someone over 14 can sleep with someone older as long as there’s less than a five year age difference or something like that (not that that would apply in Jolene and Sawyer’s case, but Shadowcrest is not Canada).
Listen to your friend, Jolene! I hope she at least does some serious reconsidering. Sawyer kind of reminds me of one of my own characters, actually–the romantic, mate-for-life kind of guy. He’s got his heart set on Jolene and I doubt it’s going to budge.
Heidi and Dolph are so cute. Although I do think Heidi should let him know what’s what with the whole travelling thing. She does come from an age with a greater knowledge of all things health-related, after all
For all Jolene’s belief that Sawyer will leave her for the first hot piece of arse that walks down the street, he definitely is a mate-for-life sort of guy and she would probably be extremely happy with him if she’d ever let herself be with him.
And even if they don’t end up together, I think she will always have a piece of his heart, sort of like how Jarrett feels about Ivy.
Heidi should tell him, probably has subtly told him that it will do her no bad to walk around, being housebound and cut off from her friends won’t make her any happier or healthier. But as I commented to Morgaine in IM the other day re Dolph and Blake, there are a few differences between the two guys. Dolph’s been in a position for quite a while where his job is making people safe. The most important people in Dolph’s life right now are Heidi and the baby. So he’s going to do everything he can to keep them safe the way he knows how.
Blake doesn’t know if he can provide safe, he just wants to make Raquel happy. Shutting her up in the house and telling her she’s not leaving until she gives birth will make her unhappy.
Also, Dolph’s experience with pregnant women is seeing other men wrap their fragile wives up in silk and put them away in jewel boxes for the duration. Blake’s experience with pregnant women is watching them run husbands, households and shops, gossip over the back fence while doing daily chores, beat rugs, kids and the occasional layabout. Blake wouldn’t see why he’d need to shut Raquel up. He thinks Kennedy’s being too fussy with her restrictions.
Thanks, Van!
Oh Jolene! If I didn’t know you were just freaking out inside…. But seriously, why should Victoria and Camden have waited if they were both ready for it? What difference would a month really make?
I can understand Jolene and her focus on the numbers somewhat, where age is concerned. I do the same in a way. It makes it easier to talk to someone when you have some idea of what kind of things they have seen and lived with in their youth.
But a number is and can never be a guarantee of maturity. If Jolene doesn’t know that yet she had better learn it and quickly, or she might make some rather serious mistakes! (Like not marrying Sawyer!) But I do believe she’s mostly just clinging to this because she’s freaking out.
Very true, Ann, very very true. She is mostly stubbornly clinging to this, pretty much cause she doesn’t know what else to do. Sawyer’s life, as Heidi pointed out, has been so unlike Jolene’s or anyone, really, Jolene has known up to this point. His maturity is not tied to seventeen.
Hopefully she’ll get her butt in gear and realize that Sawyer is a wonderful man and let herself be happy with him. But it’s no fun if everyone sees the error of their ways, so, we shall still see.
Thanks, Ann!
PS. I’m glad you think not marrying Sawyer would be a huge mistake.
I think you guys have pretty much summed up everything Jolene and Sawyer related, but I can’t keep from commenting on Heidi’s pregnancy situation. Maybe Kennedy can try and talk some sense into Dolph, ’cause what he’s trying to make her to do is just plain unhealthy! Pregnant women who are physically active have much better birthing experiences and outcomes, not to mention that being pregnant is a major blood clot risk (due to hormones and increased blood viscosity that occurs during pregnancy) and so staying still is a bad idea! (blood clots aka venous thrombosis can form in the veins of your legs and then break off in pieces, clogging your lungs as pulmonary emboli leading to chest pain, shortness of breath, and even death) Let the woman walk Dolph!
Ok, I’ll stop channeling Kennedy now. :sheepish retreat:
Actually, Dom, I kind of like it when you interject these medical things into your comments. As medical knowledge is something I lack and I’m usually unwilling to throw off my stride while writing to go find the medical guidelines for things, I often am working semi-blind. All of the stuff that you just said about exercise and health with pregnant ladies is something I can blend in later, which makes it more unlikely that I will end up with writer’s logic pervading. (Because I wrote it so)
But I think that Kennedy does need to take Dolph aside and tell him what’s what. She might, as she’s done with Raquel, tell them both to err on the side of caution than you know run marathons. But there’s no reason that Heidi can’t take a walk or two to see her friends and do errands, etc.
Thanks, Dom!
Oh good, I’m glad I didn’t come off as an ass!
I’m more than apply to share any medical knowings should you be interested. 
Edit: I can also track down data to back up my vague rumblings should anyone be interested.
Just finished reading your blog and love it! I like the time-traveling. It’s a nice “twist” to the medieval theme.
Congrats to all the weddings and yay to the babies, soon to come!
Heidi looks cute pregnant… She’s also a good friend. I mean, I can understand in our day-and-age that as an adult, you don’t want to hook up with a teenager, but they are in a different world now and boys were considered men at a much younger age. Also, I think Sawyer will do everything he can to be a good husband and make her life as comfortable as he can. I hope, that Jolene will at least think about it…
Well, in a way it’s all she’s been thinking about, but I know that’s not what you mean. But yes, things are different and she’s going to be very miserable in Shadowcrest if she doesn’t relax up on her “My way.” views.
We shall see, next episode, the resulting fallout of the proposal. (So y’all will this week find out if she said yes or no.) But it will kind of only be sideline to some other brewing issues. (And by issues I mean things both good and bad.)
Thanks, Saquina! And glad you made it through.